From the mouths of babes

We were told this week by Zachary’s Nursery workers at church that he speaks in tongues and, unfortunately, no one in the room happened to possess the gift of interpretation. I realized, at that moment, it had been quite a while since I updated our dictionary of family words. So here are a few that will hopefully cause your next conversation with Zachary to make more sense:

  1. Dapper: This is only said when he needs a change or he has some irritation down below. For a while, I thought he was an “Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou” fan. (you know, a Dapper Dan man)
  2. Melmo: Elmo, Timo, Mommy, Nemo, take your pick. They all sound alike. Use context clues to figure out what he wants, which is, generally, quite a challenge.
  3. S**t: This one is censored because I couldn’t claim this to be a family blog if I told you the exact way that Zachary pronounces chips.
  4. Ashoo: Gesundheit. It’s not Zachary sneezing but him offering his “God Bless You” after you’ve sneezed. It sounds more like he’s making fun of you but we’re pretty sure he’s just saying “Bless You” like the nice guy that he is.
  5. Cut: Zachary doesn’t enunciate the letter “P” at all so this is his way of asking for his cup.
  6. Side: The little guy really doesn’t waste a lot of time on syllables. If he can cut the word down to say what he wants, he will. Inside or outside becomes “side”.
  7. Daisy: Thanks to our most recent visit to Canadian, Zachary is convinced that every dog in the world is named Daisy, until he is told otherwise.
  8. Hot Pockets: This one is credited to Timothy. He INSISTS upon calling Pizza Hut by this name. He’ll correct us until he’s blue in the face if we call it otherwise.
  9. Ridey: From many moons ago, this was Emily’s name for her rocking horse. It was made for her by my Grandad and it made a reappearance this week as Zachary decided to pull it out of the closet and give it ago. “Ridey, Ridey, Ridey,” we say as he rocks back and forth.

Although it’s not an uncommon word for two-year-olds to learn and use a lot, I thought I might as well mentioned that Zachary also has an affinity for the world “no”, especially directed at me, his father. Those who know me are aware of my sense of humor and how sarcastic, or just plain silly, I can be. Emily’s most common phrase to me has become, “Daddy, are you joking?” Nine times out of ten, the answer is yes. Now, I believe it’s either because Zachary has figured me out or that he just so much prefers his mother to me, that just about anytime I say something to him out of the blue, his immediate response is “no.” In fact, I can ask him if he wants a cookie and he’ll tell me “no.” Then, he’ll think about it and realize what he said no to. At which point, he runs to his mother demanding the cookie.

Anyways, tonight at the table we were all drinking hot chocolate and he was in good spirits, calling off peoples names. He went around the table. Just before he got to me, he looked at me and knew that I was just about to say something and before I even got anything out he said, “no!” It was as if to say, “Don’t you even think about saying anything to me, I’m busy and you have nothing to say to me that I want to hear, so BUTTON UP, DAD!” I kept quiet.


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