Sounds like my kids

  1. A nursery school pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead.

    “How do you know that the cat was dead?” she asked her pupil.
    “Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,” answered the child innocently.
    “You did WHAT?” the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
    “You know,” explained the boy, “I leaned over and went ‘Pssst’ and it didn’t move”

  2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later…..”Da-ad….”

    “What?”
    “I’m thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?”
    “No, You had your chance. Lights out.”
    Five minutes later: “Da-aaaad…..”
    “WHAT?”
    “I’m THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??”
    I told you NO! If you ask again, I’ll have to smack you!!”
    Five minutes later……”Daaaa-aaaad…..”
    “WHAT!”
    “When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?”

  3. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed.

    She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in
    his voice, “Mummy,will you sleep with me tonight?”
    The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t
    dear,” she said. “I have to sleep in Daddy’s
    room.”
    A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: “The big sissy.”

  4. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself,

    “Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.
    Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine….”
    His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, “What are you doing?”
    The little boy answered, “I’m doing my math homework, Mum.”
    “And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?” the mother asked
    “Yes,” he answered.
    Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, “What are you teaching my son in math?”
    The teacher replied, “Right now, we are learning addition.”
    The mother asked, “And are you teachingthem to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?”
    After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered,
    “What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.”

  5. A little girl asked her mother, “Can I go outside and play with the boys?”

    Her mother replied, “No, you can’t play with the boys, they’re too rough.”
    The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?”

HT: Muchmor News

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3 thoughts on “Sounds like my kids

  1. The child was a typical four-year-old girl — cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.
    “Now do you understand?” he asked.
    “I think so,” she said, “is that when mommy came to work for us?”

  2. I enjoyed reading your’s and your wife’s blogsites which I found from Jonboy who I found from Little David. Anyway… I also did the personality test, posted my scores at my blogsite and linked where I found it back to you. 🙂
    Hope you don’t mind.

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